


It was always you

by cloudykozume



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Break Up, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maybe OOC, Not Beta Read, i cant tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 08:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30086358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudykozume/pseuds/cloudykozume
Summary: Jean and Connie discover they're in love.. that’s it, that’s the whole thing.
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Connie Springer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	It was always you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! A little bit warning for this fic: it has a tiny bit of drinking. It also has cheating, but that’s also for a small portion of the story. Also this isn’t my best work, and I’m really sorry about that. I hope you enjoy regardless! Thank you for the support. <3

Love never seemed to come easy to Jean and Connie. It was always one failed relationship after another. And after every single break up, they would always end up in the same place: Jean’s apartment.

“I thought this was gonna be it.” Jean mumbled, running a hand through his tangled hair, realizing he really needed a trim.

Connie lolled his head to the side and frowned. Jean really did look miserable, and that worried him. Usually, Jean would complain about how terrible the relationship had been. And he would talk shit about them, and never want to see them again. But this time, he was quite; too quiet.

“You really liked Sasha, didn’t you?” Connie said. Jean only nodded.

Sasha was the one to end the relationship after she discovered her feelings for her longtime best friend, Mikasa. She didn’t want to drag Jean along anymore and called things off. He told her that he understood, and he did. You can't control who you love. But then reality set in and Jean’s cool facade crumbled.

Connie didn’t like how spaced out Jean looked. This wasn’t his friend, this was a stranger. Connie moved a bit closer to Jean’s spot on the couch and slowly reached for his hand. 

When their hands met, Jean flinched a little bit. Connie pulled back his hand and looked at his face to make sure he was ok. Jean didn’t look at him, he simply chased after Connie’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

Connie stared at their hands as his stomach pooled with warmth. This was new. He felt Jean leaning towards him and suddenly his head was resting on his shoulder. 

“You’ll be alright, Jean.”

“I know.”

  
  


———————

It had been almost half a year after Jean and Sasha broke up; half a year since Connie and Jean held hands. Neither of them spoke about it and Jean assumed Connie forgot— Connie assumed the same about him.

It was a quiet afternoon and Jean was about to look for a new show to watch when the peace was suddenly shattered.

Jean’s apartment seemed to shake as the door slammed. He jumped when he saw a raging Connie in his doorway.

“Connie? What’s the matter?” Jean asked, concern laced in his tone.

“He did it again.” Connie’s voice was sharp and Jean hated it.

Jean didn’t even have to ask what he meant: Connie’s shit boyfriend cheated again. He didn’t understand why he always went back to that jerk. Connie deserved so much more than that. Jean would have given him the world if he could. 

Something was a bit different about Connie's presence today. He looked done, not with life, but with the treatment he’d been receiving. He looked so exhausted.

“Wanna get drunk and watch shitty movies?” 

Connie’s body seemed to relax just a bit. “You know it.”

And they did just that, Connie getting completely plastered while Jean controlled himself just for tonight. He decided he needed to be at least a little present if Connie needed him.

Connie giggled as he poked at Jeans cheek; Jean laughed. “Stop that.”

“But you’re so pretty~” He slurred.

Jean froze for a second before remembering the state Connie was in. “So pretty, Jean. Were you always this pretty?” 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He sounded almost disappointed, but why?

He wouldn’t remember this at all. Why did that fact make Jean so upset? But then Connie started leaning in and that’s when Jean knew he had to cut him off. He got up off the couch and stood over Connie.

“You’re not thinking straight right now. It’s time for bed, you can sleep on the couch if you want.” He offered even though he knew he wasn’t gonna let Connie go back home by himself.

Especially not to that man.

“I’m not even tired!” Connie went to take another sip of his beer before Jean quickly swiped it out of his hand. 

“No more, you’re going to sleep.” Jean said sternly and Connie whined.

But then soon enough, Connie was passed out on the couch. Jean sighed and crouched down over him. He hesitated before bringing up his hand to caress Connie’s face. 

_Soft_.

There was a smile on Jean’s face as he slowly stood up and turned the tv off. He then walked off to find a blanket for Connie, a strange feeling in his stomach. 

The next morning, Jean was taking care of a hungover Connie. He didn’t mind. He thought it was funny as he watched Connie struggle to even keep his head up at the breakfast table.

But even in those moments of laughter, he still could feel the disappointment burning in his chest. Just as Jean suspected, Connie didn’t remember a thing. 

But it was ok, they were just friends after all. 

Jean drove Connie back to his apartment, pleasantly surprised when they both found out that Connie’s ex had left on his own. The atmosphere changed and everything was at peace again.

“Thanks for taking me home.” Connie nudged Jean’s arm.

“Anytime.”

And he meant that.

———————

It was a particularly boring day and the boys were laying on Jeans hardwood floor. They always seemed to end up here. 

That night Connie came over- the memory never left his mind. It was almost cruel that Connie didn’t remember. Jean made a face. Why was he thinking of this now? Things were fine the way they were.

The windows of the apartment were up, letting the gentle spring breeze come in. It was comforting. The television was on, but neither of the boys were interested in whatever program was playing.

“I think I’m actually dying of boredom.” Connie cried dramatically.

Jean groaned, too tired to form a verbal response. Connie rolled over on his side, not realizing how close he actually was to Jean. He didn’t move.

“So,” Connie started, “how’s the hunt for the perfect partner?” 

Jean rolled his eyes, looking at the ceiling. He looked over at Connie, almost flinching at how close he was. 

“No luck.” He managed to say. 

“Same here.”

Jean sighed. “We’ll find them soon, just need some more time. Don’t worry about it.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself along with Connie.

Connie hummed. “I don’t know what we’re doing wrong. Are we looking in the wrong places?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe.”

The two slipped back into a comfortable silence, Jean looking at the ceiling and Connie looking at him. He knew Connie was looking at him, but decided to keep staring up. 

If he was being honest, Jean hadn’t been looking for another partner. Sasha was the last person he had dated, and at first he let himself believe that he was ok with that. But even he couldn’t ignore the heavy loneliness that weighed him down.

This apartment was too big for him.

Minutes dragged on, Jean’s back was starting to ache. He sat up, wincing at the sound of popping joints. 

“Old man.” Connie mumbled, still on the floor.

Jean looked down at him and felt that familiar warmth in his chest. What was that? He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. Before he stood up, Connie’s words from earlier crossed his mind. 

“Are we looking in the wrong places?”

Jean’s eyes widened just for a moment, he shook his head again. No, that can’t be it. It just can’t. It couldn’t be, right? His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. 

What did he see when he looked at Connie?

Well, he saw his best friend, someone who’s always there for him. He saw the guy who saved him when he was at lowest. The guy who can’t cook to save his life, the one with the messy handwriting.

The guy who will always make you laugh no matter what and he’ll always be there to cheer you up. He would always be interested in listening to you talk about your favorite things, and he’ll get just as passionate. He’s hardworking and intelligent, he’s beautiful. Yes, beautiful. Connie was the sunlight in the morning, the rainbow after a rainstorm, the good things in the world.

_Oh_. Jean thought.

A muffled voice pulled Jean out of his thoughts. 

“Jean!” Connie shook his shoulders. “Are you in there?” Somehow Connie ended up in his lap without him noticing. Jean blinked before laughing.

Connie looked confused as Jean continued to laugh. Tears brimmed his eyes and suddenly he was hugging Connie. 

“Wh-“

“Connie, I’m an idiot!” Jean yelled into his shoulder. “A huge idiot.”

“Well, yeah. Everyone knows that.” 

Jean looked at Connie and flashed the brightest smile he’d ever seen. And surely enough, that feeling made its way into his heart. 

“Why are you an idiot?” 

“Because, I’ve been searching for something this whole time— _longing_ for something when I’ve had it all this time!” 

“Jean, I’m confused.” Connie’s face burned.

“It’s you! It was always you!” Jean exclaimed as Connie stared at him with the widest eyes.

There was no pushing away his feelings this time. Connie knew he could never do that again, he had to accept them. And he did.

Connie leaned forward, Jean met him halfway. Butterflies erupted in their stomachs as their lips met. Connie’s lips were soft and warm; Jean’s were a bit cold. But it was perfect. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces.

Jean cupped his face, only breaking apart for a second to breath. Connie gripped his shoulders, needing the stability. This felt like a dream. 

Connie was the first one to pull away completely. The two of them stared at each other, breathless and faces flushed. The world seemed to melt away as they locked eyes; nothing else mattered. It was just them.

“Maybe we’re both idiots.” Connie finally spoke and Jean laughed.

He held Connie close, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beat. This was nice. This was something neither of them wanted to lose.

This was love


End file.
